All this is to say that today She Reads Truth came into my mind for whatever reason. I looked around the site a little and was glad to find this devotional. I am a big fan of hymns, and having worshiped in a 175 year old church, I made sure hymns were a part of worship often. They are some of my favorite songs to sing and play. Today I read the first one to see I would get anything out of it, because I haven't gotten much out of anything as of late. But these are the kinds of times that God speaks. He finds a way to get through to me.
"God has planned that my best life is right here, right now, even with the hurt and loneliness and worry that comes right along with all the incredibly good things. The truth wins each and every time-- if only I look to it."
"Rescuing is His specialty in my life."
"Whatever I think I don't have, I have in Him."
Plus some relevant verses:
"You have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith my be found to result in praise at the revelation of Jesus." - 1 Peter 1:6-7
"Perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." - 1 John 4:18
"Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23
Sometimes I feel discouraged when I look at other women of faith and I feel like they are so focused and "good at being Christians" and I am not. I have always felt rough around the edges and not someone who is happy all the time, constantly telling everyone, "Jesus is soooo amazing!" That's just not me, and probably never will be. Do I need to try harder and make faith a priority? Yes. Do I need to go back to church again? Yes. Is it okay for me to take baby steps and not jump back in all at once? Yes. The important thing is I'm trying, and I need to remind myself that it's okay. I am my own person with my own relationship with God, and I am starting over.