hey, hi, hello

In case you were wondering, here's what I've been up to lately:

1. Still trying to get through Grey's Anatomy for the first time on Netflix. Currently on season 8... it's happening!

2. You know life is good when you are forced to plan time to pick up a book at the library and get your car's oil changed because you are so busy.

3.  Speaking of busy: I have a get together tonight with some of my best friends, then a beer festival Saturday with the girls, which I am so excited for. And a sleepover! I love that I can still do that even at 28.(Or maybe I'm just lame. If that's the case, I don't want to know.)

4. I visited a friend yesterday and held her sweet newborn baby girl... I will never get tired of holding my friends' babies. Ever.

5. I'm going "camping" (I use that term loosely) next weekend at Assateague, and upon texting what I need to bring with my roommate, I said, "My essentials are more like a melted pint of Ben & Jerry's and a giant inner tube painted like a donut." Truer words have never been spoken:

I rest my case.

6.  I'm learning some fun songs on my ukelele. The good news is that it sounds great! The bad news is that I only play in one key because my voice happens to love it. So... get ready to hear a lot of C F Am G. And possibly some Ke$ha.

7. I think my appreciation of the man bun is turning into an obsession. I see them EVERYWHERE. But I'm not complaining!

8. I miss Hawaii.

9. I've been listening to Bad Blood on a loop. I finally watched the video and I felt like the whole entire thing was just introductions of characters and by the end, I had no idea how they all connected. Are some heroes? Are some villians? Doesn't that black leather get uncomfortable while you're doing karate moves? And who came up with all those names? (I'm sure Taylor did.)

10. Finally, music. These are the two I've been playing a ton in the car... windows down, volume way too loud and obnoxious:

I've always loved Gucci Gucci since my friend Sarah played it for me and I thought it was hilarious. Some might say I have terrible taste in music based on these two songs, but I love them and I regret nothing!

Have a good weekend!

who i am, who you are.

image via google

 This is going to sound weird, but being super close to your best friends for years almost feels like a marriage. There are good days and bad days, things you say that make the other mad, disagreements and opposite opinions followed by tons of laughter and beautiful memories. I feel like I take something away from all of my friendships, and those little things are going to serve me well in the future. But mostly, I think about how different we all are. How we tend to debate to make our friends see our side, how we struggle to make them understand who we are and where we are coming from. Maybe that's just me. I feel like I sometimes struggle to be me, without having to worry about saying the perfect thing all the time or modifying my thoughts to fit someone else's mold. That can be hard. And Jesus knows I struggle with it all the time. I don't think about it in a way that's like, "I want to please everyone". It's more that I want to feel more freedom within myself to not feel weird when I don't share the same opinion as someone else. I don't have issues expressing myself. I do it so well that I get in trouble once in a while. ;) But I think that when it comes to differences and being close to some people who don't think the same way you do, it can get messy. It makes me feel apologetic and strange when it shouldn't, just because I don't view things the way they would and their reaction isn't always going to be supportive of what I think. I have to remind myself that I'm being me, and there is nothing wrong with that (short of truly offending someone or actually needing to apologize).

The truth is, I have a very extended group of friends. Some are casual friends that I really like. Some know me down to my bones and I can't do life without them. And some people I just don't get and they don't get me, and that's okay. But my "ride or die" friends are it. They know that my heart is good and even if I go off the rails sometimes, I still love Jesus and He still loves me. (Hallelujah for grace & forgiveness!) On the other side of that, I completely own up to taking my turn and doing the exact opposite of what I want to do:
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
- Romans 7:15

It's because I'm human. We all are. Thankfully, for those who believe, we have a Savior from whom we can receive forgiveness when we repent. But I do think that some Christians really forget that we are human beings who aren't flawless. Sometimes we curse, drink, judge others, etc. It's true: those things are not the best qualities. But they happen as a byproduct of being human, and that's life. (That's not to say that we should cast them off without a second thought and not work on our issues.) I often think of this quote from my favorite book, Big Stone Gap:  

"There ain't no perfection in this world, only in the next."

I'll end with this story: I knew a girl once who believed with all her heart that literal perfection was attainable. That if you were a Christian, you were supposed to strive to be perfect and one day you could be. I still remember the conversations I had with her because they taught me two things: 1) Jesus did not come down to this earth to give us perfection; rather, He came to be strong for us in the face of our weaknesses. 2) It's okay to make mistakes and say the wrong things and, in general, screw up. That's what being human is. That's even what being a Christian human is. Yes, the scope of the Christian life looks a lot different than a non-believer's life. But it doesn't mean that we have to make ourselves crazy trying to be perfect or pretend to be. I'm okay with being who I am, even if I'm rough around the edges at times, even if people don't understand me. God understands me and meets me where I am. I'm learning to be good with that. 

thank you, jet lag.

Here is a list of weird things that have happened upon returning from a completely different time zone.

1. I felt like I was dying on Monday morning. I've never felt so tired. I was working from home, but still, I had to wake up at 8 AM. Normally not a problem. However, when it's 2 AM in Hawaii, definitely a problem.

2. I had a dentist appointment scheduled for this morning. I even answered the phone in Hawaii to confirm it. Yet, I FORGOT. It was on my calendar, I confirmed it, and then I forgot. That never happens to me! I'm the queen of schedule management! I've never missed an appointment in my life! I'm on time for everything! This is how I felt about that:

3. I've totally lost track of what day it is. No, really. My schedule is all messed up in my head because I usually work from home on Wednesday (hence, the dentist appointment fiasco), and this week I switched it to Monday because I flew home on Sunday. Since I came into the office for the first time on Tuesday, I've had no clue what day it is.

4. I've had to take melatonin to sleep at a normal time. Even though I'm so tired, I still can't fall asleep when I'm supposed to. Thank you, mild drugs.

5. I now feel the need to constantly look at my calendar in case I'm missing something. "Am I supposed to be somewhere tonight?!" is running through my head like mad. It's also because I decided to keep myself busy every night this week. I don't think that was smart, but I have movies to see and concerts to go to and people to hang out with!

Here's a story that I can't blame on jet lag, but it's funny nonetheless. My friend Brooke and I went to the movies last night to see Pitch Perfect 2 (obviously not as good as the first one, but still worth it if you're a fan). The ticket-ripper guy tore our tickets and said, "Theater 2, down the hall." We found it, took our seats, and watched some scary previews-- surprising for a comedic movie. (I don't do scary.) Anyway, we get through a bunch of previews, and then... Ex Machina begins. We watched the first 10 minutes of it being incredibly confused and thinking, "Is Fat Amy going to jump out of this helicopter?" Then we wised up and left. We went back to the ticket booth and a girl said, "Oh, you're supposed to be in Theater 8, right behind you." WHEW. Well, that would have been nice to know the first time around. And I wouldn't have had to sit through those terrifying previews.Luckily, the previews were just starting for our actual movie, so we didn't miss anything But oh man. I am so relieved that I didn't get stuck in a theater where Saw or Insidious was playing. Ex Machina was intimidating enough. (Although, after watching the first few minutes, I am now intrigued.)  

hello & hawaii

It's been a month since I last posted, which is crazy. Being busy has taken over. Anyway, this spring season is all about adventures. One thing I love about warm weather is that my calendar is constantly filled. I always need a day or two break in there somewhere, but then it's go time again. I can't sit still for too long!

As many of you know, my latest adventure was going to Kauai, HI for a week. It was such a dream. I got to eat fresh fish and lay on a beach. We went zip lining and boating. We snorkeled and admired some dolphins up close. We spent the day at a local, uncrowded beach and swam in teal colored water. We got tan and spent way too much money, but it's vacation. You have to! It's an unwritten rule. The perfect ending to our trip was seeing a double rainbow as we drove out of town to the airport. It was a great send off.

You can check out some of the photos on my Instagram, but here are a few others:

poke bowl. my favorite thing that i ate. it's like a bowl of sushi.   

our zip line guide, Nevin. he was a cool dude.
my first time snorkeling!
Laura and I in the infinity pool.

made a trip to Anini Beach. beautiful water and total solitude.

Kiluea Lighthouse.

visited Glass Beach to collect some sea glass for my best friend.

bought myself a present :) 

double rainbow to say aloha.