Sometimes I feel it's necessary to take a sick day when you're not actually ill. My body wasn't ill, but my heart felt like it. It's been rough times the past few months with a job in limbo and struggling to find another. I also hadn't slept much this past week and felt exhausted.
So today I woke up around 10, which is late for me but was so glorious. My friend Brooke has been helping me get through this hard time, and she encouraged me to start journaling again. I used to write every day and it's been at least a year since I really started up again. But writing is a very therapeutic thing for me, so I should be doing it. I had finished off a journal a couple of months ago, so I headed to Target for a new one and some new pens (they motivate me more). I found a journal that's super appropriate for me since I have horrible eyesight :) and those Inkjoy commercials got to me! And of course, I had to pick up my first pumpkin spice of the season! (I'm not boycotting because of the "it's so bad for you" trend, just so we're clear.)
I came home and put on some new Audrey Assad music-- they way she writes really speaks to me. This song has been getting me lately:
You liberate me / from my own noise and my own chaos /
from the chains of a lesser law / You set me free...
Those words are so close to my heart right now. My noise and my chaos have been overwhelming me for months. How do you get out of feeling like that? It's not the easiest thing. So, long story short, journaling, praying, and writing some music for the first time in a long time has helped me feel so much better already. I needed a reminder that I don't have to feel lost, and that I shouldn't wander away from God. After all, He knows me better than anyone ever could.